Sorry For Your Loss
by kr3ativ23
Summary: One-shot! "It left him on a pointless walk down the strip followed by police and the team as they tried to talk to him. The beer bottle gone and now replaced by his service gun. As the lights became brighter and the demands for his surrender became more authoritative." What happens when Nick nears the deep end? Can his team save him? Big twist at the end!


Sorry For Your Loss

Please Review!

Disclaimer: Don't own CSI

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Going through the motion that was a good way at putting it. Since Nick had come back he had just been going through the motions of the job. Clock in, usually a lot early that his shift, dust for some prints and spray some chemicals to try to bring closure in the disruption of someone's life and then clock out, usually a lot later then his shift. Seeing McKeen put Nick in kind of an altered status it messed him up to say the least, and then seeing Tina and Eli made Nick feel like he failed his friend. Nick had been paying more respect to a dead man then helping the dead man's living family. Nick had visited Warrick's grave every weekend since his death and since Catherine's left Nick found himself talking to the grave almost trying to seek advice from his friend so he could overcome this newest hurdle in his life but Nick continues to find himself wilting under all the pressure.

Nick continues to walk down the strip with a beer bottle in one hand and his other hand rubbing his knuckles trying to ease the burning and get rid the blood as the flashing lights grew nearer. Alcohol had turned into Nick's newest advice giver and Nick was starting to find himself drinking more and more to try and rid the terrible memories that ruined his brain. Whether it was the terrible things that has happened to him or the horrific things he's seen no amount of whiskey, or beer would be able to rid them from his brain he was forever stained.

Sorry for your loss, he thought. Oh your mother was just killed in a horrific homicide, sorry for your loss. You trusted your neighbor to watch your six month old baby girl while you went to the store for only a second and she's dead now, sorry for your loss. Your fiancée just went for some gas, well the station he went to was being robbed and he wanted to be a hero, sorry for your loss. Your friend was too hard headed to admit anything was wrong all while subliminally begging for your help, well he just ate his gun, sorry for your loss. Your father was a bartender and he tried to cut off and angry drunk, well the angry drunk wasn't done, sorry for your loss. That term had just added to the terribleness of his job that he once loved. His job was his life, and if he hated that where did that leave him?

It left him on a pointless walk down the strip followed by police and the team as they tried to talk to him. The beer bottle gone and now replaced by his service gun. As the lights became brighter and the demands for his surrender became more authoritative.

_"Nick, you've had enough... Come on." Greg begged trying to pull the beer away._

_"Get him out of here." the bartender told Greg._

_"I paid for... My beer..." Nick slurred able to keep his beer._

_"You've been nothing but belligerent and rude, since you got here. Get him out of here!" the bar tender said Greg tried to grab Nick but Nick pushed him back knocking him into Sarah. Nick went to drink his beer when he felt someone pull him off the barstool causing Nick to drop his beer as he fell. Nick felt something inside him snap. He grabbed the neck of the beer and turned and smashed the bartender in the head with the bottle. The bartender's body slumped forward and crashed into Nick and Nick just pushed him down. He looked up and saw Greg and Sara looking at him with terror filling their eyes. Nick grabbed another beer off the counter top and left the bar._

Nick looked up staring at the brick wall. The police lights reflecting and bouncing off the bricks. Nick reached out with his free hand touching the cool stone as he squeezed his gun. In any other circumstances his gun would be deemed as hot. It does have three bodies, that's a chilling thought. Charlie DiMassa. Alex McCann. Jason McCann.

Nick slowly turned around and saw that he was cornered. He saw the terrified faces of his friends behind the police barricade, as the nervous faces of his fellow coworkers. Nick looked down at his gun as the reflections of everything were illuminated even on this terrible gloomy night.

"Nick... I need you to put the gun down please..." DB begged, Nick released a deep breath and fluttered his eyes as if being pulled back to the dark reality of his situation. Nick felt a tear rolled down his face.

"I... I ah... I can't do that..." Nick stuttered squeezing his gun.

"Please, Nick. Let's just talk about this." DB begged.

"Yeah... I think... I'm done talking." Nick said finally looking over at the nervous older man. DB swallowed hard as his hands shook as he held them up in surrender. Nick noticed the bruise forming on DB's nose as a gash that was across his bridge slowly bled down his face as his left eye was almost sealed shut.

_Nick left the bar and started his walk into darkness. He thought his mind would be racing and he'd be going stir crazy but he was having the totally opposite reaction. He felt the weight lift from his shoulder his mind hadn't this clear in a number of years._

_"Nick!" DB shouted but Nick ignored him and continued on his way drinking his beer. "Nick!" DB yelled again grabbing his arm turning him around. "What the hell has gotten into?"_

_"Nothing..." Nick said pulling his arm away; Nick turned and went to walk away when he heard a police car roll up. Nick turned briefly but then continued on his way._

_"You know I don't believe that. What is wrong with you? Gimme this." DB said trying to pull the beer away but Nick was able to keep it, shoving his boss away._

_"I don't have to explain myself to you." Nick said angry looking DB directly in the eyes._

_"Stokes, you..." the officer started but Nick threw his beer bottle at their cruiser causing the bottle and windshield to explode. Both of the officers took cover and DB tucked and Nick turned to walk. DB grabbed Nick again and Nick turned and punched him in the face just nicking his nose but connecting fully with his eye socket. DB crashed to the ground, the officers moved closer and Nick pulled out his gun feeling the burning on his knuckles._

_"Put the gun down!" the officers yelled but everything felt like it was running in slow motion like in a fog. Nick just turned and started his walk again._

"Nick, please... We can get you help." DB begged but Nick just shook his head.

"You should... Go." Nick said almost not getting it out.

"I'm not leaving." DB said putting his hands down.

"I'm sorry." Nick cried putting the gun against his head.

"No, Nick..." DB cried.

"I'm sorry..." Nick said squeezing the trigger as he closed his eyes. The noise of the gunshot a lot louder them he had anticipated.

Nick shoots up awake his heart pounding inside his chest as he tried to calm his breathing. Nick felt his stomach tightened so Nick ran to the bathroom. He stopped when he caught a glimpse of himself in his bathroom mirror. Nick rinsed his face off feeling the cool water did do wonders for his headache. Headache and nausea became almost a second skin because Nick had been waking up every morning with a hangover but that's what he expected with drinking just about every night.

Nick looked up at himself as his hands shook with the aftermath of his nightmare. His appearance disheveled, his eyes red, his skin sweaty, and his mouth dry. He screamed as he punched the mirror, the pain in his hand was nothing to the pain he had been carrying all this time. He looked up at himself seeing his reflection in the broken glass just upset him more.

Nick growled ripping the mirror and medicine cabinet off the wall sending the medicines, shaving cream, razor, and anything else astray in his bathroom. He heard his phone ding and Nick left his bathroom feeling blood drip from his hand not caring. He looked at his phone seeing the information for another case.

'I'm on my way.' Nick texted back as he got ready. Going thought the motions, he thought as he released a deep sigh.

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Please review! Another Oneshot exploring the tiredness that Nick feels at the lab. There is going to be repercussions in Nick's mind about seeing McKeen again and then seeing Tina and Eli the way he has. What did you think?


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